You're not a beard stand-in. You don't even look anything like him, except for the beard and being kind of...

[A gesture. It's a vague one.]

You know. Muscular.

Maybe you should, uh, wait on giving your wife a call until I figure out how to manage myself around one person. It's difficult enough for me to talk to you without blushing and acting like an idiot, I'm pretty sure I'd spontaneously combust in front of your wife.