"I've just always been different. I can't escape from my own mind no matter how hard I try, and sometimes trying just makes it worse. The first time I ever got high, I thought I was going to die. It really makes you crazy. Well, it makes me crazy. There're people that I'm sure it's great for. I'm not one of them. I was paranoid for days."

And he's already paranoid by nature. Drugs didn't help that tendency, not one bit. He obviously doesn't mind that it's an intimate question, since he's answering it -- it's just that he's not entirely sure what the answer is.

"I'm not saying that I'm not miserable or that I'm not trying to escape. I just don't do it the way they do. Which is probably hard to believe since you see me sitting here with a drink in my hand, but it's true. This is the first drink I've had in months."